The Centers for Disease Control released the first federal definition of bullying in 2014:

“Bullying is any unwanted aggressive behavior(s) by another youth or group of youths who are not siblings or current dating partners that involves an observed or perceived power imbalance and is repeated multiple times or is highly likely to be repeated. Bullying may inflict harm or distress on the targeted youth including physical, psychological, social, or educational harm.” (Gladden, 2014)

This definition is important as it differentiates bullying from other forms of aggression and violence. This specific definition helps for gathering data and analysis to then better understand the prevalence and causes of bullying behavior. In turn, this information and understanding can assist policy makers in determining more effective policies and treatments for use by school administrators, social workers, and medical professionals.

Note: The CDC’s definition of bullying excludes violence between siblings and partners within a dating or intimate relationship. Violence between peers is defined differently than the violence that occurs in these unique family and dating relationships.

Note: The term “aggressive” in this definition can be more usefully understood by focusing on intent. “Unwanted aggressive behaviors” can often be a bit more subtle than overt behaviors typically associated with bullies such as pushing, name calling, and humiliating acts. The essential point is that the intention of the bullying behavior is to cause harm to another person.

Bullying behavior includes these three characteristics:

Sources: Pulido, 2012; Olweus, 2013; Evans, 2014; Menesini, 2017

Bullying takes on many forms through derogatory words, clear or implied threats, and physical contact. But, bullying can also be less overt and more subtle.

The five types of bullying behavior are:

Sources: Olweus, 2013; Evans, 2014

More specific targeted bullying:

Dr. Elizabeth Englander, the founder and Executive Director of the Massachusetts Aggression Reduction Center (MARC) at Bridgewater State University, is quoted in the Boston Magazine for the 10-year anniversary of Phoebe Prince’s suicide that bullying had changed dramatically in a decade.

Prior to 2016, “the majority of students bullied others for social reasons, which included things such as conflict over a boy or a girl or low social status,” said Englander. Since 2016, “there was a dramatic surge in kids being bullied exclusively because of their membership in a group — such as being LGBTQ+ or having parents who were immigrants.

“To my mind, it’s the most serious and disturbing change we’ve ever seen. It’s fair to say that adults feel empowered to express bias attitudes, and that kids follow their lead shouldn’t surprise anybody. But in all my years of researching, I’ve never seen anything quite like it.” (Giacobbe, 2020)

“What is Bullying?” (video)
A very helpful video about bullying.

“Bullying is NEVER OK” (video)
This brief 3-minute video from Bullying. No Way! in the UK describes what bullying is and offers several helpful actions to take both as a victim and a bystander. The message highlights that people are not powerless and can take positive actions to respond to bullies.

Electronic, online bullying, or most recognizable as “cyberbullying” is done through the internet with email, text messaging, chat rooms, social media sites, and other tools. It involves sending or posting embarrassing, hurtful, humiliating, and/or threatening comments, messages, pictures, or videos. Cyberbullying is more often done by older teens (ages 15+) but can be done by anyone under the age of 18 with a computer or cell phone hooked up to the internet.

“Nearly 43% of kids have been bullied online and almost one in four have had it happen more than once.”⁵

NOTE: Cyberbullying can only be done by two or more children or teens under 18 years old. When an adult is involved, this type of harassment becomes “cyberstalking.”

Technology allows any bully with a cellphone to torment, embarass, harass, humiliate, and isolate their victims, 24/7. “Lauren Savage, a school counselor in Richmond, Virginia, noted, ‘In the past when students were bullied at school they could at least seek the safety of their homes, but with cyberbullying the bully goes home with them.’” (Beale, 2007)

“Although the Internet allows for unbridled communication, it also seems to encourage a measure of mean-spiritedness. When students think they can remain anonymous, they are less inhibited in saying things they never would say to a person face-to-face...what makes cyberbullying so particularly hurtful is that the anonymity of the act often emboldens the person doing it and increases the fear factor for the victim.”⁶

Certain software programs allow bullies to be be anonymous and leave the victim in the dark about who the bully truly is. Sometimes bullies will hack into another person’s account or steal passwords and then post hurtful comments pretending to be the victim.

There are two primary methods of cyberbullying:

Source: Beale, 2007

Help your child stay safe online

1. Have “the technology talk”.
2. Use parental settings wisely.
3. Friend your kids on social networks.
4. Be the holder of the passwords.
5. Don’t let your teens sleep with their phones or computers.
6. Be a good role model.
   Source: Six ways to keep teenagers safe online (Macworld, 8/30/13)

4 Steps to Stop Cyberbullying (video)
This is a great 5-minute video from Wellcast. Take a few minutes and see if there's any new information for you. And, download and print the “Cyberbullying Protection Guide”.

Key Points for Protection
(highlights from the video)

...between bullying and teasing and angry behavior? Sometimes, it can be difficult to distinguish teasing or angry behavior from bullying. Although teasing might seem pretty tame in the whole scheme of things, there are specific characteristics that make it and other behaviors outright bullying.

One-time angry outbursts and verbal fights are a normal expression of frustration and anger. The intention is less about hurting the other person and more about conveying feelings about the actions of others.

With regards to teasing, playful banter, joking, and making fun of one another that youth engage can seem pretty harsh sometimes, but it is common behavior between friends. The intention of teasing is "not intended to cause harm or exert power over the other individual but rather to engage playfully and humorously. It is a "friendly exchange" between peers that builds bonds and friendships. (TopLineMD)

A line is crossed from playful, silly, even harsh, fun among equals to something darker and more sinister when specific characteristics arise. When a child is targeted by another child or group of children with persistent, unwanted, and hurtful behavior.

REMEMBER: Distinguishing characteristics of bullying are that it is intentional, harmful, and repetitive with an imbalance of power.

When there “is a forced imbalance of power and the bully wants [their victim] to feel powerless or helpless.”⁹ In the case of teasing, it “becomes bullying when it is repetitive or when there is a conscious intent to hurt another child” either verbally, psychologically, and/or physically.⁹

Accidentally hurting someone's feelings through actions or words is not bullying. Accidentally injuring someone through carelessness is not bullying. One-time actions or words, no matter how angry or cruel, does not constitute bullying.

Although it can be difficult to know the intent of a person’s actions, someone who persists in hurtful words or actions against another after being told that their words and actions are wrong shows a pretty clear intent for inflicting distress and/or pain on others. That behavior begins to fall under the definition of bullying.

Pay attention to the following to help differentiate between teasing behavior and bullying:

Keep in mind: bullying is done by someone or some group that makes it a point to repeatedly torment another person and that person feels powerless to defend themselves.

There are many harmful effects of bullying aside from any physcial injuries. Effects from childhood bullying can carry-over into adulthood with negative impact.

Bullying can negatively impact a child in four general ways:

Some signs to look for are:

• Low Self-Esteem
• Stomach Aches
• Headaches

Whatever means a bully uses, a critical outcome is for the victim to feel alone — both physically and emotionally — to the point where the victim feels that friends and family cannot help them. This leads to a number of possible short-term and long-term effects.

In a long-term study published in April 2015, researchers found that children who were victims of bullying by their peers “consistently showed an increased risk of young adult mental health problems such as anxiety, depression, and self-harm or suicidality whether or not they had a history of maltreatment by adults.” (Lereya, et al., 2015)

Bullying by peer as a youth leads to significant mental health issues into adulthood. These findings highlight that bullying is much more devastating on an individual’s mental health than many people are aware. (Wolke & Lereya, 2015)

Long-term effects of bullying include:

...if my child is being bullied or bullying other children. Signs that a child is the victim of bullying can be confusing and mistaken for the normal emotional and hormonal changes that occur growing up. Three ways to learn if your child is being bullied include:

A parent’s job often becomes that of detective by piecing things together, bit by bit, over time to get an idea of what’ really going on. Be persistent but be patient, also.

These signs may indicate your child is being bullied:

• Acting differently in general
• Agitated and jumpy
• Asking ‘what if’ questions, such as “What if I were home schooled?”
• Avoiding eye contact
• Crying, moody, depressed, angry
• Difficulty sleeping, or sleeping more hours
• Eating more or less than usual
• Frequent complaints of sicknesses such as stomach aches and headaches
• General anxiety about school and school events
• Increased fighting with siblings and parents
• Increased isolation in his room, or alone more frequently
• Looking down frequently
• More somber moods
• Nightmares
• Not wanting to participate in any sports or activities outside of school
• Paranoid
• Quieter in class, lunch, and recess
• School work/grades are negatively affected
• Shifts in online activity (large increases or reductions)
• Skipping school and social events
• Spending many hours reading or studying — even when other kids are around and being social¹⁰

Suicide is the third leading cause of death for youth ages 14 to 18. (Gaylor, 2021) Per the 2021 Youth Risk Behavior Surveillance (YRBS) report, “poor mental health and suicidal thoughts and behaviors are increasing for nearly all groups of youth.” (YRBS Summary)

However, although bullying is closely associated with suicide behavior, there is absolutely no evidence of a causal relationship between bullying and suicide. (Gaylor, 2021)

A postmortem study of suicide-related deaths of youth ages 10 to 19 from 2003 to 2017 using data from the National Violent Death Reporting System (NVDRS) found that bullying-associated deaths accounted for 5% of all suicide-related deaths (490 bullying-associated suicides of 9884 total suicides).

Source: Clark et al., 2020

The consequences of a a distorted media description of bullying and suicide are two-fold:

Source: Olweus, 2013

For some families, understanding of what they witnessed prior to the suicide is only painfully obvious afterwards. The Calco family has shared their experience following the suicide of their 15-year-old daughter, Kristina, on December 4, 2005.

Michelle Calco, Kristina’s mother, shares that her family “began to see [in her daughter] someone who was never happy, and nearly always angry about one thing or another” when describing the time before her daughter’s passing. “Unfortunately, we did not recognize Kristina’s behavior as depression. When we look back at her journals, we can now see that she had been suffering from depression for a very, very long time.”

“Kristina was teased and tormented and ridiculed throughout her middle school years and up to at least the 9th grade,” Calco continues. “Neither she nor any of her friends ever told a single adult about what was going on...there was a particular group of boys that did this to her and that every day the girls would have to console Kristina in the cafeteria. Her friends would reassure Kristina that she was not ugly and that she was beautiful.

“Unfortunately, the bullying never ended. Kristina, who was such a frail and sensitive girl, was made to feel ugly on a daily basis by a group of her own peers. By the time she was in the 9th grade, she had internalized the verbal assaults until she believed them with every grain of her soul.” (Calco)

A landmark example of severe bullying leading to extensive media coverage, discussion of about the role of the legal system to prosecute youth for bullying, and polarizing viewpoints followed the suicide of Phoebe Prince.

Ms. Prince, a 15-year-old Irish immigrant, hanged herself on January 14, 2010 in the stairwell of her South Hadley home in Western Massachussetts following what was described in court documents as a months-long campaign of vicious verbal and electronic assault. (Miller, 2010)

National and international media coverage of this tragic event and its aftermath not only focused attention on Ms. Prince and the student culture at South Hadley High School but attention was also given to how the school faculty and administrators responded to complaints about the bullying of Ms. Prince’s and the bullying of other students prior to this tragic event. Additionally, as the media placed a spotlight on youth bullying, questions arose about the appropriateness for applying the legal system to prosecute children for bullying.

Key Points:

• Intense Media Coverage
• Prosecutorial Overreach?
• Attention on Bully Culture
• The Role of Schools

INTENSE MEDIA COVERAGE
Widespread media attention began 10 days after Ms. Prince’s passing on January 24 when The Boston Globe published a column by Kevin Cullen titled, “The Untouchable Mean Girls”. This was the first of hundreds of articles published over the next six months about this story. By June 7, 811 news articles about Ms. Prince, the accused bullies, and the subsequent court filings had been published across 45 countries not counting television coverage. (Bergman, 2010; Ryalls, 2012)

The prevalent media narrative was that Ms. Prince was “bullied to death,” conveying a somewhat simplistic story of a “pack of jealous, predatory” “insider” “mean girls” ganging up on the defenseless “outsider” “good girl”. The dominant story was mediated to focus on the girls while often ignoring the boys. The primary storyline emphasized a “negative framing of the girls’ aggression,” Ms. Prince’s relationships with the “popular mean girls,” and a “tendency to diminish the role [that one of the boys] played in Phoebe’s bullying.” (Ryalls, 2012)

On March 29, 2010 six teenagers were charged by District Attorney Elizabeth Scheibel who made a surprising and atypical decision to publicly release the names of the six teens at the press conference and thereby “bypassed the privacy protections within juvenile court.” (BuzzFeed Staff, 2013)

The media, in turn, and contrary to the code of conduct specific to children, also published the names and pictures of the teenagers — who collectively became known as the “South Hadley Six” — resulting in the bullies themselves being bullied. (Bazelon, 2011; Ryalls, 2012)

All six teens — Sharon Chanon-Velasquez, Ashley Longe, Flannery Mullins, Sean Mulveyhill, Kayla Narey, Austin Renaud — were typically grouped together in media descriptions although each individual had interactions of varying degrees with Ms. Prince in the months, weeks, and days prior to her passing. Bazelon noted that the “TV shows and the tabloids didn’t care about the varying degrees of culpability.” (BuzzFeed Staff, 2013)

In July 2010, Slate magazine published an article written by Emily Bazelon that was contrary to the dominant storyline. Bazelon published details of Ms. Prince’s medical history as well as an alternative perspective of prevailing narratives, a different perspective of the culture at the high school than commonly shared in the media as described by students and administrators, and a more critical analysis of the key events leading up to Ms. Prince’s suicide. (Bazelon, 2010; Ryalls, 2012)

Bazelon shared relevant risk factors in Ms. Prince”s life included cutting (self-harm), a prescription for Prozac (a standard treatment for depression), and a prescription for Seroquel (an antipsychotic used to treat mood disorders and, in small doses, to address sleep disorders). (Bazelon, 2010; Fleming, 2012)

In addition, Ms. Prince allegedly suffered a horrific trauma in her own home in November 2009 when she was allegedly drugged and assaulted by a boyfriend and several of his football teammates while her mother and younger sister were out of town. Shortly after this event, she ingested nearly an entire bottle of Seroquel and was subsequently treated in the hospital for a week. (Bazelon, 2010; Fleming, 2012)

This personal medical information was widely shared by People magazine within a couple of weeks of Bazelon’s article as attorneys for two of the defendants asked the court for access to Ms. Prince’s medical records. (Rakowsky, 2010).

I’ve wrestled with how much of this information to publish. Phoebe’s family has suffered terribly. But when the D.A. charged kids with causing Phoebe’s death and threatened them with prison, she invited an inquiry into other potential causes. The whole story is a lot more complicated than anyone has publicly allowed for. The events that led to Phoebe’s death show how hard it is for kids, parents, and schools to cope with bullying, especially when the victim is psychologically vulnerable. The charges against the students show how strong the impulse is to point fingers after a suicide, how hard it is to assess blame fairly, and how ill-suited police and prosecutors can be to punishing bullies.

Publishing Ms. Prince's medical history was questioned by Bazelon herself. Although journalistic ethics require..., Bazelon justified her divulging this information because the district attorney released the names of the defendants.

When commenting on the media coverage a year following Ms. Prince’s untimely passing, Razvan Sibii, a media critic and University of Massachusetts journalism professor, stated, “It is gang journalism; they all try to outdo themselves in denouncing the problem and then move onto something else. It’s an easy story. Everyone thinks bullies are bad. It’s easy to be self-righteous about it...There’s a clear enemy and you have countless hours of commenting.” (Brinch, 2011)

PROSECUTORIAL OVERREACH?
Following the suicide of 11-year-old Carl Walker-Hoover in April 2009, the Massachusetts legislature began working on an anti-bullying bill initiated by State Senator James Eldridge, D-Acton (Bergman, 2010). Although versions of this anti-bullying bill were supported by the Massachusetts House and Senate at the time of Ms. Prince’s passing nearly a year later, questions over details such as whether “all schools will be required to conduct staff training about bullying” prevented completion of a final bill. (Eckert & Zezima, 2010)

As reported in The New York Times, the Massachusetts law focused on “changing school cultures and preventing bullying.” Because bullying is a “vague concept” the law “would not label bullying a crime.” Robert O. Trestan, Eastern States Civil Rights Counsel of the Anti-Defamation League, emphasized that middle and high school students “are not immune to criminal laws...If they violate them in the course of bullying someone, they’ll be held accountable. We don’t need to create a new crime.” (Eckholm & Zezima, 2010)

In January 2010, Massachusetts remained one of only nine states without an anti-bullying law.

On March 29, 2010, Scheibel brought felony indictments against the six teenagers for their involvement in Ms. Prince’s bullying:

• five counts of violations of civil rights resulting in bodily injury;
• two counts of disturbance of a school assembly
• two counts of criminal harassment;
• two counts of stalking; and
• two counts of statutory rape.

Source: O’Neill, 2010; Oliver, 2010)

The decision to prosecute the teens was described as an “unusually sharp legal response to the problem of adolescent bullying” at the time. (Eckhert & Zezima, 2010) Some legal experts described prosecuting the teens as overreaching the law because it was using the legal system to criminalize actions that it was not meant to address. (Bazelon, 2010)

This assessment seemed to be confirmed when all of the more serious charges against the six defendants were eventually dropped in May 2011 with five teens being sentenced to probation until their next respective birthdays and 100 hours of community work (Velasquez receiving 50 hours). The rape charge against Renaud, who was not involved in the bullying, was dropped entirely at the request of the family of Ms. Prince. (CBS News, 2011; Khadaroo, 2011)

Alfred Chamberlain, the attorney for Flannery Mullins, released a statement declaring that the outcome was “an acknowledgment by the Northwestern district attorney’s office that these matters were overcharged and that the former administration brought felony indictments in cases which did not call for such.” (Webley, 2011)

The use of the law in this case highlights the challenges of applying legal recourse to prosecute actions of bullying no matter how tragic the consequences.

Kaiser and Brown point out that prosecuting bullying behavior by youth is problematic, in general, and highly questionable in cases of suicide, in particular. In brief, proving a causal effect between trauma and suicide in a courtroom is difficult and unlikely. They conclude that “using the criminal law to punish bullying associated with suicide will regularly be wildly disproportionate to the behavior involved.” Since the intended result of bullying is rarely suicide, attempting “to hold teenagers responsible for deadly consequences they neither intended nor could reasonably anticipate.” is a poor use of the legal system. (Kaiser & Brown, 2015)

 
MASSACHUSETTS LAW
An anti-bullying law was signed by Massachusetts Governor Deval Patrick on May 3, 2010. The Massachusetts law was considered far-reaching as compared to comparable laws in the 44 other states that had anti-bullying legislation at the time notably for including private as well as public schools within its scope. (Schwarz, 2010; S2323, 2010)

SCHOOL IRRIRESPONSIBILITY?
Cullen’s original January 24 column also directed criticism at school administrators for their handling of the situation both prior and subsequent to Ms. Prince’s passing. This criticism was echoed in media coverage and by parents of students at South Hadley High School. (Di Nies, et al., 2010) Ms. Prince’s Latin teacher, Deb Caldieri, pointedly expressed criticism of how her reports to the school administration about Ms. Prince’s well-being were handled. (Cullen, 2011; Jung, 2020) No faculty or administrators at the school were charged with crimes by the district attorney. (Martinez, 2010)

 
CLARIFICATION
There was some confusion following DA Scheibel’s announcement of charges against the six named teenagers with some media outlets placing the final number at nine total students being charged: the six named defendants and three unnamed 16-year-old defendants. The three 17-year-olds (Mulveyhill, Narey, Renaud) were charged as adults and the three named 16-year-olds (Chanon-Velasquez, Longe, Mullins) were charged as juveniles. The other three unnamed juveniles were not named as required by law to protect their confidentiality due to their age. (Martinez, 2010; Oliver, 2010)

The New York Times clarified that the three unnamed juveniles were actually the same three previously named 16-year-olds Chanon-Velasquez, Longe, Mullins. (Eckholm & Zezima, 2010)

This section was originally titled, “What is ‘bullycide’?” The title was changed in 2023 because “bullycide” is a term that strongly — and incorrectly — suggests a causal relationship between bullying and suicide. As mentioned elsewhere in this resource, the Centers for Disease Control emphasize that although bullying and suicide are strongly related, there is no causal relationship. Suicide is complicated and involves several risk factors.

Bullycide is a term first used as the title of a book by Neill Marr and Tim Field in 2001, Bullycide: Death at Playtime in reference to bullying followed by the suicide of the victims. About a decade later, Bullycide in America: Moms Speak Out About the Bullying/Suicide Connection was published. Written by Brenda High, a mother of another suicide victim, Jared, this book provided examples of children who were bullied and subsequently committed suicide.

Nonetheless, bullying behavior — for the bully, victim, bully/victim, and bystander — creates feelings of anxiety, humiliation, isolation, and more for youth and teens managing other risk factors in addition to navigating how they are perceived as individuals by their peers.

The stories of the following young people no longer with us are presented here as reminders of how bullying has a significant effect on the health of youth and — in combination with other risk factors — can lead to incredibly heartbreaking decisions.

This section may contain details that are particularly disturbing. If you or someone you know is having thoughts of suicide, please contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 988.

Adriana Kuch, 14, of Bayville, NJ, killed herself on February 3, 2023 two days after a 50-second video was recorded and posted online of her being attacked by other students in the hallway at Central Regional High School.

The video shows the freshman being hit in the face with a full 20-ounce water bottle three times, being repeatedly punched and kicked and being violently dragged by her hair as classmates laughed while recording the attack. She suffered multiple bruises on her face and legs as a result of the attack.

“I want the entire world to know what these animals did to my daughter,” Adriana’s father, Michael Kuch, said in regards to the video. In another interview, he shared that “I’m livid. I blame the [attacking] girls and the school and the cops. I want everyone to know what happened to her, I want justice, as much attention, so they can’t ignore it.”

The school initially suspended the four students involved in the attack. The Ocean County prosecutor’s office later filed third-degree felony assault charges against four girls the following week: one student was charged with aggravated assault, two students with conspiracy to commit aggravated assault, and one student with harassment. The four students were subsequently expelled from the school.

Hundreds of students voiced their outrage at the administration over the handling of Kuch’s case by walking out of classrooms a week after Adriana’s bullying attack and within a week of her death. This was followed by a second walkout by students two days later.

One day following Adriana”s memorial service, the supertintendant of Central Regional”s school district, Dr. Triantafillos Parlapanides, resigned on February 11. This followed statements he made in an article published by The Daily Mail placing blame on Adriana and her father for her suicide. (Rothfield & Caron, 2023)

Aaron Fuller, 13, of Northwood, OH, hung himself with a belt in his bedroom on the evening of January 11, 2019. Aaron was mocked for not having lunch or money to pay for a school lunch, mocked for his clothes (each morning he would swap his Walmart shoes for a pair of old Nikes), and the abuse spread to social media during this school year with bullies telling Aaron to kill himself.

According to Lisa Pescara-Kovach, an associate professor of educational psychology at the University of Toledo and director of the Center for Education in Targeted Violence and Suicide, some youths don’t see the worth or need in putting up a fight anymore.

“They don’t feel worth anything,” she said. “I get so frustrated when people say kids need to defend themselves; not every kid feels good enough to defend themselves. If you”re bullied and you’re suffering from depression, you’re not going to defend yourself. You don’t feel like you deserve to do that.” (Schneider, 2019)

Jamari Terrell Williams, 10, took his own life on October 11, 2017 after being bullied online.

“The once talkative 10-year-old, who had a smile that could light up a room, [battled] his bullies in silence.” His mother, Monique Davis, noticed changes in his behavior such as “‘withdrawal, wanting to change his appearance. At the time, he wasn’t happy with his skin complexion. He was more to himself. He was much quieter than he normally would be.’”

In March 2018, the Alabama state legislature passed HB366, a comprehensive anti-bullying law, named after Monique’s son. The Governor signed it into law in June 2018, updating the state’s former policy. The Jamari Terrell Williams Student Bullying Prevention Act mandates schools follow a number of recommendations to help fight bullying not just on school grounds, but also cyberbullying and off campus threats. (Gould, 2018)

Davis also founded the Jamari Terrell Williams Foundation, a non-profit dedicated to letting children know that it’s okay to be different including offering a 24-hour 800 number so children and young adults can have an outlet.

Jeffrey Fehr, 18, of Sacramento, CA committed suicide on New Year’s Day 2012. His parents “are convinced that a lifetime of taunts and bullying contributed to his decision to take his own life.”

“We will second-guess ourselves forever,” his father said. ”But we do know that for years and years, people knocked him down for being different. It damaged him. It wore on him. He could never fully believe how wonderful he was, and how many people loved him.”

“A bully might say something and forget about it in 10 seconds,” Steve Fehr, Jeffrey’s father said. “But people like Jeff never forget those words.” (Hubert, 2012)

Amanda Cummings, 15, of Staten Island, NY jumped in front of a bus on December 27, 2011 and died six days later on January 2, 2012. A suicide note was found in her pocket.

Although police had not determined that bullying was a reason for this tragedy, her family believes it was the main cause. According to her family, bullying — both in person and on Facebook — was a significant factor in this event and that “bullies pushed the fragile young woman beyond her endurance.”

Per the New York Department of Education’s 2010-11 survey, the citywide average of students being bullied is 67 percent.

“Criminal charges rarely result from bullying, but several teenage suicides around the country that were attributed to bullying have led many states, including New York, to force schools to develop antibullying curriculums and to take action against students who intimidate others.” (Annese, 2012; Flegenheimer, 2012)

Jamey Rodemeyer, 14, of Williamsville, NY, committed suicide on September 18, 2011 after being bullied online and at school.

“Issues of bullying and even suicide talk were not new to many of Jamey’s family or friends. They were common topics for him and seemed to ramp up to an extreme level when other students started making taunts with gay references to Jamey about 12 months ago on his Formspring account, which permits anonymous posts.” Some posts were supportive while others were extremely offensive.

“JAMIE IS STUPID, GAY, FAT ANND UGLY. HE MUST DIE!”

“I wouldn’t care if you died. No one would. So just do it :) It would make everyone WAY more happier!” (Tan, 2011)

Phoebe Prince, 15, a recent Irish immigrant attending South Hadley High School in Western Massachusetts, committed suicide on January 14, 2010.

According to court documents, she “endured three long months of vicious verbal and electronic attacks at the hands of three classmates before hanging herself in the stairwell of her home.”

“Prosecutors say that witness accounts paint an “intolerable’ campaign of insults, humiliation and, in the final days of Phoebe’s life, threats...The court papers describe what investigators indicate was a pattern of abusive taunts, text messages, Facebook postings, threats, and efforts to corner Phoebe, whose reactions are described variously as fearful, panicked and distraught.” (Miller, 2010)

And, the bullying did not stop after her passing. A page appeared on Facebook, “We Murdered Phoebe Prince”, showing Ms. Prince’s photograph altered to show knives plunged into her eyes. (Giacobbe, 2010)

On May 3, 2010, Massachusetts Governor Deval Patrick signed into law, “An Act Relative to Bullying in Schools”. At the time, this law was considered the most far-reaching of any law implemented by the 44 states that had anti-bullying laws at the time. The Massachusetts law included private schools as well as public schools. Legislative support for this law began following the death of Carl Walker-Hoover in April 2009 but the legislative work was only resumed following Ms. Prince’s passing a year later. (Schwartz, 2010)

On May 4, 2011 three of Ms. Prince’s classmates were sentenced to probation until their next birthdays and 100 hours of community service; two classmates were sentenced to probation only. Two classmates were sentenced on harassment charges; one for criminal harassment; and, one classmate was found guilty of a civil rights violation without bodily injury and disturbing a school assembly. A sixth student, charged with statutory rape, had the charge dropped entirely. (Khadaroo, 2011; Webley, 2011)

Kristina Arielle Calco, 15, hung herself on December 4 just a few weeks before her 16th birthday.

“One blustery snowy morning in December 2005, we awoke to find that our 15 year old daughter, Kristina Calco, had abruptly ended her own life,” wrote her parents.

In one IM conversation found by her parents, Ms. Calco shared with a friend: “You should have heard what they said to me in middle school. It was awful. I felt like crying. Everyday this boy would tell me I was ugly and nasty, and then he got other people to say it too. It was torture and a living hell.” (Calco)

A few years after Ms. Calco’s suicide, her aunt, Heather Savalox, began speaking to 8th graders at Steamboat Springs Middle School in Steamboat, CO. As part of the presentation, Savalox shared a video (see below) that she created about her niece. In 2012, Savalox founded the anti-bullying suicide prevention program, It Takes Courage. (Harden, 2021)

Bullycide: A brief history of the Phoebe Prince phenomenon
“Phoebe Prince isn’t the first teenager ‘bullied to death’ by callous classmates. A look back at some other notable (and legally significant) cases.”

After all this information about how bad bullying is, what’s a parent to do? What’s a child to do? Stand up to the bully/ies! Fortunately, there is a wealth of research on how to address bullying behavior stretching back over 50 years.

Here’s a checklist for your child.

Using aggression to resolve an issue with a bully is not an effective response and it tends to perpetuate the cycle of violence. In addition, it escalates the level of violence and increases the risk of harm for everyone involved. (Preventing Bullying Through Science, Policy, and Practice)

Source: Olweus, 2013

This is just a start. There’s even more postive action that can be done especially as a parent. Don’t wait: get involved with your child sooner rather than later and learn from the bullying experience about how to stop annoying, hurtful, and even traumatic situations.

SEL Sketches packs a lot of helpful information in this six minute video.

WatchWellCast offers several videos about what to do. This video has a helpful 4-Step Plan for dealing with bullies.

Self-defense and anti-bullying strategies are key components to the curriculum of MSMAP. For children, it’s a simple, three-step method:

The instructors at MSMAP emphasize and actively encourage children to routinely practice basic anti-bullying tactics. Many of these tactics are quite simple and recommended by various sources as key bully defenses including:

Note that neither MSMAP nor others recommend fighting as a first-line bully defense.

Even more, the instructors of MSMAP pay close attention to helping children and parents deal effectively with teasing and bullying.

MSMAP exists to provide meaningful services to our community. One of the services is providing lessons on dealing with bullying in whatever form it takes. MSMAP follows the recommended strategy of the National Crime Prevention Council by teaching “youth violence control and problem solving, thus preventing juvenile delinquency by providing critical decision-making and life skills.”^NCPC

The key components of this strategy are:

teaches children to reject violent responses to conflict by reinforcing positive and nonviolent means for resolving disputes. This strategy can help prevent drug abuse, gang violence, sexual harassment, and other problems of violence and crime. It empowers youth with the critical thinking and decision-making skills necessary to avoid the temptation of negative influences in their community.

 
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